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<title>you couldn't have done a worse thing to me by thisisfreaky</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26189614">you couldn't have done a worse thing to me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisfreaky/pseuds/thisisfreaky'>thisisfreaky</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Walking Dead (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Canon, Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Post-Season/Series 08, Touching</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:00:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>948</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26189614</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisfreaky/pseuds/thisisfreaky</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They were enemies, two people who wanted to tear each other apart, yet they were drawn together so easily. And Rick couldn't help but wish he didn't let Negan in.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rick Grimes/Negan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you couldn't have done a worse thing to me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>reminder for non black folks more specifically who have the means: donate to BLM (or affiliated orgs/collectives) or blk creatives right now/all the time. redistribution of wealth/money is so very important for a number of reasons. </p><p>also seriously right now is NOT the time to be silent or to pretend it doesn't make a difference to be an ally to the blk community. i'm telling y'all as someone who is blk - it DOES!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That day in the pantry was where everything downward spiraled. Rick hated himself for letting a man like Negan get under his skin so easily. Not only that but he hated the tension that had already brewed between them before then. It was in the way the man would look at him, licking his lips like he was looking at his next meal. And Rick couldn't bring himself to be completely disgusted by the attention. At least not on the inside. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Rick remembered how Negan  got right up in his face. Maybe Rick looking at his lips didn't help matters, especially not when Negan asked him outright if he wanted to kiss him and he couldn't say no. And when Negan leaned in just enough that Rick could almost taste Negan on him, only to pull away with a smirk, Rick wanted to deck the man in the face. He felt his fists bunching up and Negan looked down then up to see that. Of course he tsked at him before telling him that it wasn't wise to try. <br/>
<br/>
<br/>
After that incident it left Rick with a wanting stuck inside his stomach. Nothing he did could make it any better either. Michonne was more focused on defeating the Saviors and Rick, well, he curled into himself. She of course noticed but Rick couldn't bring himself to tell her why he was behaving differently. Why he was losing his determination to get rid of their current threat. </p><p><br/>
Eventually Rick told her that he needed some time, though not for the reasons she thought. He didn't know who he was turning into and wouldn't hurt her in the process of potentially being destructive. One thing eventually lead to another and at some point he found his enemy's hands down his pants. Making him hard without much effort, in the middle of planning a war against him. <br/>
<br/>
<br/>
That hand eventually did other things to him and he wanted it. He wanted Negan. Even after all the shit he did to him and the people he loved. Even after he killed two of Rick's own in front of him. How could he let someone like that in, literally and figuratively? He supposed that he had a track record of having someone send him into a spiral. Shane was a good example of that.</p><p> </p><p>Though whatever connection they had didn't stop the war from ensuing. In fact, it made Rick more eager to put an end to everything. They still fought with all they had, people still died, Negan still claimed he'd end him, vice versa. Rick lost Carl and Negan somehow felt a loss of his own. It made Rick fully see how Carl had that way about him with people. And all of that led them to the field where Rick used their connection against him. Promising that they'd build a future, leaving what he meant by that very ambiguous. Only to slit Negan's throat and make sure he was saved so he could see the world they'd build without him. <br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Now Rick was sitting outside of Negan's cell, talking to him like he often did when he couldn't sleep. He kept crossing and uncrossing his legs and of course Negan had to be crass. <br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"Hiding a boner or some shit? I mean you've been doin' that for the past two minutes," Negan practically whispered and then chuckled to himself. "Not that I'd mind seeing that again 'cause lemme tell you it's been a while. Unless you don't consider 3 months ago awhile -"<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Rick cut him off with a hand and uncrossed his legs again. "That was...a moment of weakness and I shouldn't have fallen back into that with you. You're stuck in here and giving you any thoughts that that might change was wrong."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"Oh come the fuck on. You didn't let me blow you and almost get it in, before you changed your mind, outta weakness. No, you did it 'cause you fuckin' miss being that close to danger. You miss being close to me."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"You need to get over this and me. It's time you start actually reflectin' on why you're in here and why I'm the one making sure you stay in here."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
The look on Negan's face wasn't one of anger but intrigue. He saw right through him and that made it so much easier to crawl back in. Negan flicked his tongue out and licked his bottom lip. "I don't think you're over us either darling. In fact, I believe the reason you come down here so much is 'cause you can't. No matter how hard you try, I'm stuck in your system."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"Do you need anything before I go for the evening? I only brought a water bottle and that snack you kept askin' about." Rick didn't have the energy to try to deny anything right now.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"I'll take both, wouldn't mind if you came in this cell to give them to me either."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
Rick sighed then got up and bent down to grab the water bottle and animal crackers out of the bag he brought. He walked over, handed them over through the bars and Negan took them. Though not without grabbing onto his wrist and pulling him against the bars playfully. Rick looked Negan right into his hazel eyes and saw that twinkle. Once Negan let his wrist go, he huffed and turned around to leave.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"Hey, Rick?"<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"What, Negan?"<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
"Hope you and your hand have a good time when you get home. Don't forget to think about me."<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
A small chuckle escaped Rick's lips as he kept walking away from the man he knew he'd visit again in the evening. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>title comes from this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vn7UOs4LEYE&amp;pbjreload=101</p></blockquote></div></div>
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